I hate my brain...

So it's like 1:20 am and I should be sleeping, but obviously I'm not...lol
I just cleaned my room, because I HAD to..
Like seriously, I came home today, walked into my room and CRIED!
My room soooo messy to me, I CRIED!
Oh. My. God. What is my life coming to?!
And as I was cleaning I came across stuff. Stuff that made me think...
Good or Bad? I dunno..But I thought...A lot.
Where is my life going?
What am I going to be doing in 10 years, 5 years, hell in 1 year?!
I have goals, yes. But Am I living up to them?
My answer to that, No.
I'm turning 23 this year! 23 fucking years old!
And I still don't know what I want to be...
I wanted to be married and have my first kid by the time I was 25.
That's only like 2 years and 4 months away! That's not happening...
I wanted to have a career by 23!
I wanted to be doing something GREAT with my life...
But what the fuck am I doing?...
Answer: Nothing.
I'm going to school in September for a one year program so, A) I don't have to pay back OSAP (Cus I don't have a clue what I want to do!) and B) So I have time to figure it out...
I'm trying not to stress cus really, it's not worth it...
Shit happens...but Holy Fuck!
Sometimes I feel like I've made BIG mistakes in my life, but there's no changing it...I can only move ahead...
But what if one thing I've done, has ruined everything I've ever wanted to do?
What if I really made the biggest mistake of my life, and I don't even really know it?
How do I figure it out? How do I know what to do?
Sometimes I love life, other times I hate it. And I know that's normal...
But I'd really rather just love it all the time lol
And How do you know if somethings right?
like, love? How do I know that the person I love right now, feels the same? Or will always feel the same?
What if what he wants out of life is different then what I want?
Is that an issue? Should it be?
Is having the same sort of goals important?
Why am I thinking so much about this stuff tonight?
man, I just don't know right now...
Maybe I should sleep on it...
so, Good night people!
Maybe I'll be a little less emotional tomorrow lol.